I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
