I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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