I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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