It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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