matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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