I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
You can't motorboat a personality
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
