i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
