I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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