I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
