He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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