JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
