i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
