Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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