I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
