you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I miss vodka workout Fridays
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
