today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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