Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize