I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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