my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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