I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
