I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
