I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
