Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
