it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
