just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
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