dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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