it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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