The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
