Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
