Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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