He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize