Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
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