Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My penis needs a shock collar
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
