I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
