There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
