So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
