What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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