i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize