sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
