I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
