I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
