took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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