You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
