Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
