He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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