Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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