There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
