We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
tequila makes me forget i have legs
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
