talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
