Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
