I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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