is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
