I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
