So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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