dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
