Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
