Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
