Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
