So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
