this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
