tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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