My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
