I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Randomize
