Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
4 words: hood of his car
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
