We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
