Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
