Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
