he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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