evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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