yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
