I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
